Maybe It's Not What We Think

The past year of my life has been interesting, to say the least.  Just when I have thought I am completely bare, it seems more stripping and cutting away has been needed.  It has been painful, beautiful and humbling.  It has been necessary.  If I can be completely transparent, I feel pretty much naked at this point in my life.  Which is exactly where God wants me.  Fully surrendered.  Fully letting go of what I think I know.  This has been a wilderness season with a lot of learning.  You know what I learned?  I don't know much of anything.

Well, that's not true.  I know Jesus is the Son of God, and He died for my sins.  I know that He has risen from the dead, and that same power that rose Him from the dead lives inside of me and makes it possible for me to live for Him.

I know the Father loves me with an everlasting love.

I know my husband and children love me.

I know I am called to love the marginalized and oppressed.

I know I'd rather be in the darkest and most broken of places than in the places where everything appears neat and tidy.

One of the things the Lord kept telling me a while back was to stay in His Word.  Be in His Word.  Look to His Word.  He would say, "What does My Word say?"  Abide.  In.  Me.

His Word is Truth.  (John 17:17)

One thing He has had on my heart over the past year is what it really means to be filled with the Spirit.  What does that truly look like in the life of a Believer?  What would a true revival in the Body really look like?  I've landed in a place of maybe it's not what I thought.  Maybe it's not what you think.

Maybe it's not what we think.  

I have been involved in many expressions of the faith, from Catholic to Pentecostal, from more reserved churches to more charismatic churches.  And believe me when I say I think Heaven will be filled with all kinds of incredible Believers praising and worshipping Jesus.  Because at the end of the day, it's not about our doctrine or our personal interpretations of Scripture, but rather whether or not we have professed with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead.  (Romans 10:9) Out of that place salvation comes and fruit grows.

As Christians, there are tenants of the faith we simply cannot disagree on, but there's certainly wiggle room in other areas...and we can certainly agree to disagree at times on the things that we may not fully ever understand this side of Heaven.    

With that being said, and without going into much detail, this past season has been one where the Lord has sat me down and said, who are you, Andrea?  What do you believe, Andrea?  Where is your identity?  Even more convicting, who is your identity in?  You.....or Me?

Right down to this very morning of Him saying, who are you showing up for?

Who are we showing up for?

Ourselves?  Or God.

Over the past couple years the Lord has brought into my life some incredible people who love Jesus, and who are so filled with His Spirit!  But they have shown me something different than what I have been used to or what I thought being filled with the Spirit looks like.  They are quiet, gentle, steady and they love so incredibly well.  They are in God's Word.  They point me to Jesus and His Word.  They speak His Word over me and my life.  They don't look for clever ways to impress me or to appear super spiritual.....they simply open God's Word.  They pray His Word.  They declare His Word.  They live it out.  They have been such examples to me of what it looks like to humbly follow Jesus; to not think much of self, but rather to think everything of the One who is Faithful and True.  I have never once heard them talk about themselves in a prideful way.  Never once.  They have never once puffed up their own selves.  That doesn't mean they don't have an incredible calling or anointing on their lives.  They just haven't ever felt the need to tell me about it I suppose.

What if being filled with His Spirit doesn't look like what we think.  Do I believe in the miraculous? You better believe it.  Do I love a good worship service with arms raised fully abandoned to Jesus.  Heck yeah! Do I believe His presence can fall on us?  Absolutely!  I have personally felt His tangible presence so strongly I could do nothing but fall to the ground.  Does He speak to His children? Yes and amen!!  But please bare with me!!!  What if following Jesus isn't always as exciting as we have tried to make it?  What if being filled with His Spirit and moving in His Spirit and using the beautiful gifts He has bestowed upon us doesn't always look as supernatural as we want it to look?  What if following Jesus and being filled with His Spirit looks more mundane, more holy and reverent and more orderly than we think?  Have I had supernatural indescribable times with God?  I have.  Do I have a huge supernatural experience every time I meet with the Lord?  I don't.  But it's in the ordinary times, the times where nothing seemingly profound is happening, that He reminds me this isn't about me, it's about Him.  A big experience isn't always involved or necessary, and we need to be careful not to seek the experience over Him.  I just read a great blog that spoke into this very thing.  Have you ever read something that is so in line with where you are and what you have been thinking about and it's like....that's it!  That's where the Lord has had me.  If there ever was a blog that said the things that were in my brain but I couldn't quite put into words, it is this particular one.      

What if being filled and moved by the Spirit looks less like a big experience and more like simply loving each other well, not being easily offended, and humbly serving people for an audience of One.  Is that enough?   What if the gifts He has given me are to serve and love and speak more simply than I thought?  What if moving in His Spirit and having an incredible Spirit filled service looks like hours and hours of His followers spending time eating up His Word!!  What if it looks like spending time together in community instead of rushing around with our busy lives.  What if it looks like pure, simple and intentional discipleship.  What if it looks like filling the darkest of places with light.  

What if every time I went to pray for someone I prayed Scripture over that person?  Is that enough?  

His Word is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword. (Hebrews 4:12)  His Word NEVER returns void. (Isaiah 55:11)

If  moving in our gifts and living filled with the Spirit looks like this, what would we have to lose?

When we are gathered together are we just seeking Him or are we seeking an experience?  

Definitely something He is making me pause and think more about, pray more about, and go into His Word more about.

Maybe a lot of what I believed to be true isn't necessarily true.  Some of it is, but is all of it true?

Maybe it's not what we think.  Maybe it is.  I don't know much of anything.

Well, that's not true...

"Make me to know Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long." 
 Psalm 25:4-5  

Dear Jesus, help me to spread Thy fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Thy Spirit and love.  Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of Thine.  Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Thy presence in my soul.  Let them look up and see no longer me but only Jesus.  Stay with me and then I shall begin to shine as You shine, so to shine as to be a light to others.  Amen (Daily Prayer of Mother Teresa)